so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
