So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
