his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
