Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
