What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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