Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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