we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
