Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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