I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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