it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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