There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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