I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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