Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My vagina is officially offended.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
