So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
