he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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