I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
