I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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