Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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