A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
