I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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