i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I currently don't understand fingers.
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