You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
