O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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