Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
