Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i think i have two assholes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
