As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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