Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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