Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
