the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
