If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Who died my cat blue again?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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