I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
