i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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