So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
