My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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