thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
