I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
