i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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