i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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