Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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