Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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