His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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