what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
