i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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