I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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