A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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