I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
