I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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