i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
