I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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