Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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