Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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