he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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