mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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