There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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