So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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