i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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