Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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