we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
