Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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