his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.