Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night