According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.