there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.