Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?