i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard