A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize