He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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