just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
