your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Let the clothes fall where they may.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
