I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This is the prime rib incident all over again
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
