The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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