Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
