my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
